小菜鳥的筆記本

It all turns to nothing.
Nothing.

You know how many time to destroy a promise?
Maybe to build a promise will cost a lot of time, like days, months, even years.

I tried my best to put down your love, the love that I can't afford.
When I fall in love with someone, I won't tell the truth with him or her.
I was too shy to tell, and I'm afraid of being refused.
So till now I didn't tell anyone that I love them, the love just like lovers do.
It's painful, but that's OK, that's the way I like.
How long do I need to put down a feeling of like?
1 year? 2 years? Or 5 years? I have no idea.
The only thing I know is that it's a long, long time to go.
Extremely long, painful long.
But I won't feel regret to like, to love.
That's part of my life, my living style, and my happiness.
Once I see their happy smile on their face, that's what my power to keep my self going.
That is enough.
Typhoon is coming now, don't forget to bring an umbrella.
That's it, thank you for reading.

Sometimes I'm really curious, you spent a lot of time learning English, and one day you realize you can't use your English ability to save your life.
Then, why we still waste our time and money to learn?

When I was sitting on the square of Taipei Main Station, I thought about this.
Everyone said that your English is good enough, and you can have a better job than others who can't use English well.

Sometimes when we are avoiding something, it will come to us as soon as possible.
Yeah, the law that everyone has already known, "Morphy's Law".
There's a lot of disasters happened around this month.  All of them are so ridiculous.
Can't pass the driving license's exam, computer was broken by the lightening hit, and the heat weather cause me headache again and again.
I don't know if I'm still in the dream, the dream that contains only nightmare.
Well, at least my computer has been fixed, and I still can take another driving exam.
Not so worse, huh?  There's still hope of anything, if you can hold it in your mind.
And, if you can trust them.
You don't trust what you have, then what is the thing that you can trust?
Don't give up easily, even you've already known it's a hard way to go.
Recently I started to listen to Jazz, every kind of.
So strange, I feel very comfortable while listening to, like I just get rid of this world, leaving tirednesses, stresses, and troubles behind.
I love music, it's one main part of my life.
Just like lyrics from "Thank You for The Music", if we live without any music, I can't image what my life will become.
Really thank you for the music, without any doubt.
The weather is still hot... I really can't put up with this.
Why Autumn can't come faster...
Well, thanks for reading.

About that bad news, my grandaunt has gone.  She has gone to that place.
This morning I've heard that grandaunt's body is coming back soon while eating my breakfast.  Well, I just felt strange that it is already three months?
In our tradition, her body will be placed in the lobby and wait till The Ghost Month overs.  It's not a good way to say goodbye during these days.
Anyway, may both her body and spirit can rest in peace, and leave everything behind, no worriment, no illness.
Life is too short.
Like something I've mentioned before, we use our whole life to find the reason.  The reason about ourselves, and the reason we must live.
I don't know if my grandaunt had found her reason or not, but I'm pretty sure she had a good time on the past one year.
She spent her half life to take good care of her son, who has died by diabetes two years ago.
And now, she just followed her son's step.
Honestly, we can't find out that reason, can we?
Although I know it's hard , I won't give up finding until that day comes.
Zachary told me he'll go to Taipei for fun tomorrow, so do I.
Hope I can eat a lot of food.
Well, thank you for reading.

My neighbor, also my grandaunt, there is a bad news about her.
She only has three months left, because of her cancer.
I don't know what this feeling is, I've faced a lot of people died.
My aunt, my classmate, my grandpa, they left this world behind, and went to another world I don't know.
What if life is so fragile that we can't keep it easily, then why we have to keep living until we die?
I'm just wondering, out of my curiosity, although I pretty sure I have to spend all of my life to find the true answer.
I still hope her ill can get better, she is a kind person.
Don't wanna talk too much, just feel a little tired of this bad news.
Well, thank you for reading.

One of my junior (he's a boy) told me he want to see his boyfriend as soon as possible, his boyfriend is now abroad.
"When he's back, the first thing I want to do is hug him tightly," he said, "No matter what, he is so cute."
Well, don't you know I'm still single, Mr.?
I'm a person without any good friends and "that" friend.
When I heard someone talking about his or her good friend, I really admire him or her very much.
Or in other word, jealous.
No one to blame, I deserve it.
Just... wish I won't let myself lose any friends like before anymore.
Tired of facing those sucks again.
I don't know... maybe one day, I could find my best friend, or my chosen one?
Still wait, wait for that day comes.
Being in Taipei for several days, only one thing is certain.
She doesn't stop changing herself into another style, and I still can't recognize her well.
The reason I love Taipei is, there's a lot of stuff that can't easily find in other cities and countries.
Like "Gashapon" and "Shokugan", two of my favorites.
The former is an egg-shaped packing within some toys inside, while the latter is a box that wrappd some toys  up in.
I can find many kinds of Gashapon and Shokugan, they're everywhere.
Sounds amazing, right?  But I'm not joking.
Also, it's easy for me to be attracted, and lose my wallet in the end.
It is really hard to say, I've lived here for 19 years.
But still, this city makes me feel strange at all.
I guess I can't follow her steps of changing, I was too slow to keep up with.
My lifestyle is quite different from people who live in Taipei.
She's always beautiful, whether it's morning or night.
Maybe one day, I could find the way to follow her, with my slow steps.
Really hope I could.
One of my friend is sick, hope he could feel better and get better soon.
And don't forget to give my driving instructor a phone call.
Well, Thank you for reading.

I'm not talking about dirty words, this is a song.
This song was sung by Lily Allen, and it is really amazing.
Why she can say this word with such a cute pronounciation?
Sometimes I would like to say this word to express my opinion, my anger, or my objection, but I always make myself stop saying this.
Just like the word in Chinese "幹", although you would feel better after saying this, but for others who just heard your saying, how would they feel?
I could feel sad in the past, but now I won't be influenced.
They can stand for their bad mouth during their lives, why I can't stand for this for a while?
It would be better to reduce the use of bad languages, in my opinion.
Have you ever drunk plum wine?
I like to drink plum wine, it tastes sweet just like a juice, but it truely is wine.
My friend treated me a can of plum wine, one of my favorite alcohol drinks.
Although I didn't want him to see me buying alcoholic drinks, but now he might totally know.
Hope that he wouldn't have bad impression about me, but I really like that drink.
Thank you, my friend, thank you for treating me this good drink.
And hope you can keep being a sober, avoid any alcoholic drinks.
I know you can keep this, James.
Good weather today, huh?
There might also be a good day tomorrow, I hope.
Well, thank you for reading.

A song singing by Des'ree.
Really an interesting song, you should try it.
I like to listen to musics while I'm thinking or working, and most of them are pop songs in English and Japanese.
With slow beats, I can make myself relax, try to get rid of this world.
At this time, no troubles can bother me.
But sometimes, I can't ignore this reality easily with musics.
There are still some worries hunting me, like the mist in the morning.
......maybe I know the reason why Werther wanted to commit suicide with a gun, we just try to bother ourselves by thinking too much.
HAHA, at least I do not want to try the same thing as he has done.
New style of my blog, how about?
White words with black background, more significant.
I like to change things with my feelings.
But that doesn't mean I'm happy if I use a bright color, or I'm sad if I use a dark color.
Only one thing is certain, I like to decorate my blog with simple styles.
You don't want to see articles with colorful background, do you?
Anyway, hope you guys like this style.
What a sunny day today, time to wash my clothes.
Thank you for reading, this is the end.

It is really a weird thing that I can find crabs behind my kitchen.
Do you know why?
Recently we got a lot of rain these days.
Of course, rainy season should have a lot of rain, or why it can call a rainy season?
Anyway, when I was washing my hand in the kitchen, I saw some crabs moving on the ground.
This is my habit to see Madagascar Almonds (Terminalia boivinii Tul.) grown behind my kitchen, which were planted by my dad.
It is not the point that I saw crabs, but I was wondering if there are crabs.
We live in the land, that means we don't live near the ocean.
I thought crabs live in coasts, hmm...
It is really fun, I'm so curious.
Gosh, the night market won't come today, it's all your fault, rain.
The chances are keeping losing, man.
Anyway, thank you for reading, this is the end.